'Vulnerability hangover' is a term coined by Dr. Brené Brown, known for her work on shame, courage and vulnerability. She used this term to describe the discomfort and remorse we sometimes feel when we take a risk and open up emotionally, sharing something deeply personal, emotional or authentic, especially if unsure how the vulnerability was received. It can also occur when expressing needs, boundaries or fears in a relationship, and generally stems from a fear of rejection, judgement or self-criticism for the emotional exposure. We may feel shame for revealing a usually hidden part of ourselves, fear we will not be accepted as a result, or anxiety that what we have shared may be used against us.

"The gut-wrenching feeling of fear and shame that rises up after we risk revealing our authentic selves, wondering if we’ve shared too much or if we’ll be judged."  -  Dr. Brené Brown

Dealing with a vulnerability hangover can be difficult, but you do not need to live with regret as it should not be seen as a mistake but as an act of bravery. It is normal and human to share, and similarly normal and human to fear rejection. Sharing your truth is a sign of strength, not weakness, and there is value and growth to be gained when we allow ourselves to be authentically seen and accepted. Vulnerability is a pathway to connection and to intimacy, which we all need.

If you do find yourself in the grip of a vulnerability hangover, try talking to someone you feel safe being vulnerable with, as acceptance will dissolve feelings of shame. If you cannot do that, try grounding techniques such as mindfulness, journalling or breathing techniques that sooth your nervous system, and practice self-acceptance. Physical activity can also help process the leftover emotional energy and help regulate your emotional system, so try going for a walk, doing some yoga or simply some stretches. Most of all, be proud of yourself for your courage to be authentically seen.